Name: Brown Vagabonder
Location: Toronto, Canada
Occupation: Part-time Yoga Instructor
One thing that yoga has taught me is the precious logic of having no expectations. In my younger, yoga-free (awful) years, I used to have high expectations of everything. You would imagine that I excelled in everything and did everything better because I expected more. But I know now that my quality of life was worse when I had higher expectations. Having high expectations in any aspect of my life resulted in me never being satisfied with anything around.
I wasn’t satisfied with my life in any way, shape or form: my job, my friends, my body, my family, my possessions, my car, my anything. I didn’t complain about it, because I didn’t really see any point in it. But I was dissatisfied. It was a soul-sucking kind of dissatisfaction – which you try to fill up with worthless items like clothes and shoes, lots of partying and drinking, and lots of unhealthy junk food.
I started yoga as a fluke. My friend was going to a hot yoga class, and I joined her, expecting nothing major. The first time I did hot yoga nothing happened. I didn’t have an epiphany. I didn’t love it. I actually disliked the class as it informed me that I was grossly out of shape, unable to stay in the hot room for the whole 1.5 hour class. I had to leave the class several times to cool myself down (even though they had repeatedly told me not to leave the hot room during the class).
I didn’t do yoga again for a couple of years. It wasn’t until I came back from my MBA course and started doing yoga regularly that I actually reaped the benefits of yoga. Once I started a regular practice, I realized that yoga gave me what nothing else in my life was able to give me: the sense of satisfaction with the way my life was going. It was a deep-seated sense of satisfaction, the kind that is so deep within, it is immoveable. Unshakeable. I have moments of doubt, or anxiety or any of the other dark emotions, occasionally. But my core is so strong; that satisfied core is so strong, that these little pesky moments of darkness cannot shake that core. It doesn’t do a thing to move me. I am infallible. I am strong.
I also realized that instead of having high expectations, I now have none. Of course I want to have a good life filled with happiness, joy, family, friends, love, yoga, travel and great food. But I do not have high expectations of anything. I do not expect to have a great day at work when I go in, I do not expect to have a great night when I go out dancing, and I do not expect to have a great meal when I go out dining. I expect very little.
So whatever I receive is always far beyond anything I might have expected. It always exceeds my expectations.
I find that just due to that one little tweak in my personality, the quality of my life has actually gone up, instead of down. I imagined the opposite, but I find that I am more satisfied with life than ever. And my life keeps on getting better and better. Even without expectations, everything in my life is improving.
I cannot wait to see where the yoga journey takes me in the future, but I know that it is going to be a glorious place, with sunshine and joy. I know it in my heart, and I can hear it on the wind.
Brown Vagabonder is a 28-year old yogi with high aspirations and low expectations. She loves to travel, do yoga, and eat foods from all around the world. Her goal is to become a full-time traveler, using her blogging and yoga skills to pay for her travels. Check out her blog at brownvagabonder.com.
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